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| The amazing history of the bicycle |
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suggestions for what I should put on the fence
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Untitled Document
| Another
fence |
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| Suggested
by: Loads of people |
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The
Fencemaster says:
This one makes so much sense. Attach another fence to the
fence and lock my bike to the (afformentioned) second fence.
I could also attach a song sheet with the lyrics to Cole
Porter's 'Don't Fence Me In' (Says MeDotOrg from San Fransisco).
Bing Crosby recorded it in less than 30 minutes after seeing it for the
first time. His version went on to sell over a million copies. It would
be an ideal song for fence-based barbecues. You have to make your own
entertainment these days after all.
If
you want, go to www.dontfencemein.net
where there's a gallery of 'Ranch Cowboy' photos by San Joaquin County's
Premier Ranch Photographer. Oh yes, the Premier Ranch Photographer
(the English equivalent must be a Farm Photographer, your Fencemaster
ponders, and wonders where to find one). Here's one of the pictures. It's
a, er, fence:
Hmm...
www.fencesoftheworld.com ?
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| Tricycle |
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| Suggested
by: Loads of people |
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The
Fencemaster says:
It would fun to have one with a long chain attached so
baby Fencemaster/the Fencebaby/Fencerat...
Ahem. I'll start again. It would be fun to have a long chain attached
(thanks
Scoop) so my two year old could cycle
up and down all day. I am sure passers by would replenish his supply of
milk and crisps.
Coincidentally, www.tricycle.com is the Web site of The
Buddhist Review Online. I don't think anyone meant to attach the Web
site of our friends the Buddhists to the fence though.
Did you?
Checkout The Buddhist Review, they have some smart T-Shirts, a cool way
of life, and recently organised a 'Change your mind day'. Hmmm, Fenceday...
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| Barbecue |
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| Suggested
by: Angela |
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The
Fencemaster says:
Lovely idea. Especially now it's getting warmer.
A barbecue
could open up a new world of social opportunities for the fence as, on
balmy Friday afternoons, people gathered round it to cook haloumi,
mushrooms, and maybe a bit of fish. There would, of course, be cricket
in Bentinck Mews, music and dancing too, but mainly just people coming
together to enjoy the fence.
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| A
Lawnmower |
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| Suggested
by: Anonymous |
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The
Fencemaster says:
Could be a good one. There's a wide choice of models: hovermower,
cylinder mower, sit and ride. I might be breaking Rule
fr003, but that depends on the model of lawnmower I got. It would
also open the door to a range of gardening equipment, such as strimmers,
leafblowers, and so on.
Learn more about the wonderful world of lawnmowers at: www.justlawnmowers.co.uk
(it's all about lawnmowers)
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| Kitchen
sink |
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| Suggested
by: Anonymous |
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The
Fencemaster says:
Yes. This is the kinda thing I might find in a skip somewhere.
I have checked the notice
and it doesn't mention anything about kitchen sinks. Just bicycles.
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| Convict
ship |
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| Suggested
by: Patrick Dunn |
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The
Fencemaster says:
OK, it's not really practical. It would dominate the local
area. There's one moored off Weymouth, well it's a prison ship, but close
enough. And I do have some contacts in marine salvage. Hmm.
Incidentally,
Weymouth is by far
the best seaside town in the UK. It has a lovely, busy harbour, and a
beach with real sand. Here's
a report on HMP
Weare (the prison ship) from Her Majesty's Chief Inspector of Prisons,
Sir David Ramsbotham. Hmm, detail...
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Read
THE RULES
before
you suggest something
- #fr001
No living things or body parts. With
the possible exception of performance
artists and other people who like
that sort of thing
- #fr002
Nothing that might cause a security
alert.
- #fr003
Nothing with nasty sticky-out bits
that might injure passers by.
- #fr004
The item must be lockable to the fence
using a standard padlock.
OK then, maybe a chain as well.
- #fr005
Nothing stolen. This includes shopping
trolleys, park benches, cars, and
so on, and so on.
- #fr006
No damage to the fence at all please.
None whatsoever.
- #fr007
Above all, NO BICYCLES.
OK.
Now you have read the rules, go and
suggest
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Untitled Document
Untitled Document
Untitled Document
| Fence Diary |
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*WITNESS*
Amish
29-November-2001
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*GOD
HELP US*
Bank
26-September-2001
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*CALAMARI*
Tapas
08-August-2001
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*POP
STAR*
Sting
17-July-2001
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